New dojo and stages of cultural/dojo shock

Before going on to relating to other people in the dojo, I would like to write about the overall process of dojo-change.
I've recently read about the steps of cultural shock (and I wrote a post about it which was lost just before submitting...), because of moving to a new country. The four steps of cultural shock are always there, and none of the steps can be skipped no matter how much you would want that. The only thing that might change is the duration of the individual stages. Before going onm here's the steps from Wikipedia:

• Honeymoon Phase - During this period the differences between the old and new culture are seen in a romantic light, wonderful and new. For example, in moving to a new country, an individual might love the new foods, the pace of the life, the people's habits, the buildings and so on.
• Negotiation Phase - After some time (usually weeks), differences between the old and new culture become apparent and may create anxiety. One may long for food the way it is prepared in one's native country, may find the pace of life too fast or slow, may find the people's habits annoying, disgusting, and irritating etc. This phase is often marked by mood swings caused by minor issues or without apparent reason. Depression is not uncommon.
• Adjustment Phase - Again, after some time (usually 6 – 12 months), one grows accustomed to the new culture and develops routines. One knows what to expect in most situations and the host country no longer feels all that new. One becomes concerned with basic living again, and things become more "normal".

Also, Reverse Culture Shock (a.k.a. Re-entry Shock) may take place — returning to one's home culture after growing accustomed to a new one can produce the same effects as described above. The affected person often finds this more surprising and difficult to deal with than the original culture shock.

The reason for writing about the stages of cultural shock is that I think the same happens when you leave a dojo you were with for a long time and go to another one (for whatever reason). Think about the Honeymoon Phase. How many times have you seen people coming to their first class, feeling enthusiastic at the end, promising they are definitely coming back, and then you never see them again? First classes are always nice, you always like learning something new, throwing new people :). But then you start (thinking about) missing the safe and well known old environment, and then you start negotiating with yourself: should I come back really? Will this be good enough? It was nice but they don't explain ikkyo the way I know it... and then you either quit or keep coming, and at some point you will adjust your perceptions and learn to live in the new environment. It's exactly the same thing that happened to me. I went to visit the first dojo, I really liked it, they were nice, they had the same Japanese teacher, same style, etc, etc, all the positives. They did some things differently but who cared about them? Then, after a couple of trainings, some differences started to annoy me slightly, and I started resisting going to trainings. Fortunately, the dojo had a summer break at the same time so I had time to think, visit other places and, eventually, make a decision. I visited one other place, the class was amazing, and I didn't care about the differences for at least a couple of days. Same situation as with the first dojo. And then, at the end of the summer break period, the one closest to my home won, because my drive to keep going to training was bigger than the one that wanted to stay home (and the latter also knew that if I didn't do exercises at least two times a week my muscles started to become uncomfortably stiff). So here I am, adjusting to the new place, learning about how others behave, how they do things, and how my perception changes.

What about the people in my new dojo, and their relations to the sensei and each other? First of all, they advertised themselves as being friendly, which pretty much made sure I will visit this dojo first. Especially in a new country, I wasn't interested in finding a dojo where the techniques 'work', mental harmony, or the promise of it, was a better promise. And indeed, everyone was friendly. They were friendly at the other dojo as well, and perhaps everyone is friendly in all clubs in the Netherlands, but at this point I don't think it matters so much for me. I think it was the first time when I went to my new dojo and I observed a nice tradition: on Fridays, people (above 18 :)) sit down on some mats not put away, and have a cup of sake together. As I learned, they had used to go to pubs after trainings (just like what I had been used to) but then they ended up with the Friday sake. I liked that. We had some sake, and started talking, and I could join the conversations with no problem (they were in English, mostly :)). Then I thought about Paul Linden sensei's guidelines for choosing a dojo, and found that if they treat each other like this (Sensei leading the sessions) I can accept being treated like this. I can also accept (but still adjusting) how we treat each other in the actual classes. I enjoy figuring out how my training partners think and move, and what level are they on mentally and technique-wise. I enjoy training with small people, I really enjoy doing koshinage with big people who are afraid that they will perhaps crush me when I try to throw them. I don't enjoy so much when people think I'm a beginner and start explaining obvious things or explain things clearly based on guessing, but I guess I need to cope with that until I'm allowed to wear hakama again (which different from different dojo rules, and not from me being put back to the lower end of the line). I could probably claim my place by telling them my level or sitting strictly at some place at the beginning or end of the class, but I think I'm getting through the point where figuring out my exact position is important.