Trying too hard 2

I have a recurring problem at trainings which is trying too hard. I believe there is a great lesson to learn from this problem so I'm trying ( :) ) to take every opportunity to understand and solve this problem. On Wednesday, Szabi held the training and after finishing we walked towards the station and talked about this issue. He came up with a couple of good analogies to my aikido-based trying-too-hard problem that I found interesting and useful. (picture: Connor demonstrates a rigidly hard grab, photo taken from a new instructional video)

He asked me how I had learned to blink with one eye and how hard I focus on my face muscles now when blinking. The answer was: I don't focus, I just do it. This is, he said, how I should practice aikido, too. I think he had a point there.

As another example, he compared football (soccer) with aikido. The questions were something like the following:
"Do you focus on how you move when playing?"
"Do you try to control all your leg muscles when preparing to kick the ball?"
"Do you plan how you will act if the ball comes from this or that direction?"
"Do you plan or just do it when the ball comes?"
Very good questions, and all the answers show that I have to let go of wanting a total control over my body and let the body do what it knows already: play football. React to situations, decide without thinking, pass the ball without conscious thinking of my options, that's what I do when playing football.

The above point applies to aikido as well and all the questions and answers can be found there, too.

"Do you focus on how you move when doing a technique?" - Yes, I do but that is why I become tense and my movements 'rectangular' instead of circular. Obviously, focus is needed but not really on every bit but on the one thing you want to focus on (which corresponds to the ball in football). I think focusing on the One Point works because there is only one point of focus which affects the entire body's movement and, in a tricky way, focusing on one thing becomes focusing on everything, unconsciously.

"Do you try to control all your muscles when preparing to do a technique?" - I try to and probably this is where I fail. Shoulders down, posture straight, tegatana, centre, hanmi, stability, angles, steps... it's just too much. It's just being greedy. One thing at a time is that is supposed to work. Sometimes, this one thing is tegatana and you assume your body does the rest for you. Sometimes it's harmony, when the point of focus is much greater and more advanced than a single muscle. That's the way I want to train.

"Do you plan how you will act if an attacker comes from this or that direction?" - Mostly we practice in highly controlled situations when the type and direction of attack is given as well as the technique you are required to do. I think this causes sometimes that I 'freeze' when multiple attackers are coming from multiple directions and I am allowed to do any technique that suites the situation. We practiced a bit of randori on Wednesday and even though most of the techniques you do is kokyunage (breath throw: turning and cutting) my mind started to think for a very little time which was enough to become tense and to be held down by the attackers. "Empty your cup." - one of my recently favourite quotes would say.

"Do you plan or just do it when the attack comes?" - Once your head is empty and you trust your instincts and the knowledge of your body which you have built by training hard, finding the optimal solution is supposed to become instant, natural and unconscious. Who cares how many attackers are coming from which direction, who cares whether you use the front or back irimi point of an attacker, who cares if it's kokyunage, tenchinage or shihonage? I believe they will all work if the body is well trained and the brain is confident to trust the body and the unconscious self. And then you don't even need to focus on 'leading uke' or 'connection', everything will come naturally...somewhere at 6th dan level.

I will let you know how I'm progressing and when I will be able to practice aikido the way my conscious brain thinks I should.